EU Individual Paragraph

The European Union plays a massive role for every EU citizen. With its organizations it provides a better place to live in. The Council of Europe, for example, promotes human rights and democracy which make up the back bone of the Union. In case of a contravention of your civil rights you can litigate in European Court of Human Rights for an objective resolution. Apart from protection of your rights, the European Union is also a major financial source for all its member states. Especially for member countries that declare insolvency, the EU is a principle financial supporter. Greece, Spain and Italy are currently countries who suffer from financial difficulties and they, to a large degree, depend on austerity packages from the European Union. Another easement that EU offers us comes with the Schengen Agreement. With that agreement one can travel freely across the countries that have signed it without undergoing a visa procedure or being controlled at the borders. All in all, the European Union simplifies our life and helps us in case of financial and democratic crises.

Process:

Before I started writing the paragraph I decided to draw a Mindmap about the why the EU was good for us EU-citizens. While I was drawing the stars I did some brainstorming. (I found out last year that I have to draw something when I did some brainstorming.)

The first point was Human Rights and Democracy. As I’ve been working at a Human Rights and Democracy Center in Graz for now 2 years, I know how important civil rights and democracy are.  

My second thought was “EU as a financial supporter”. Especially in the last couple of years we have heard a lot about insolvency of countries and ‘austerity packages’ from the EU.

The last bubble on my Mindmap was the Schengen Agreement. For us Europeans travelling across Europe without a visa is totally normal. In Turkey I realized how annoying it is to apply for visa for every country you’re visiting. Since then I appreciate this agreement a lot!

After finishing up my first draft I corrected my topic sentence and the conclusion so they would fit the rest of the paragraph.

The first draft was written with a rather informal register. For the second and last draft I looked up on Thesaurus for more formal words.

Comments:

(Un)fortunately, I didn’t need to change anything on my paragraph. According to my revision partner, my paragraph was legible and gets the point across. I’ve been told that coherence and cohesion were pretty good. He could only nitpick on register but all in all, it is a well-made paragraph.